Naruto Puppet Theatre 1
by The Forbidden Song Writer
Summary: Gay relationships, Death, Dead people, Cake fights and a few unexpected events...


Naruto Puppet Theatre 1

I see Dead People

Characters

Naruto

Kakashi

Rika (24 years of age)

Kiba

Sasuke

Sakura In the ground dead….Or is she?

Hinata

Shikamaru

Neji

Naruto: Hi, guys!

Everyone else: Hi, Naruto!

Naruto: What's up?

Kiba: The sky, dude. What up with you?

Naruto: Same hehe. What you guys doing?

Sasuke: Going to Sakura's funeral.

Naruto: Oh, kay, can I come? I want to pay my respects to her body, hehe lol.

Kakashi: Naruto, you idiot. You can't say that at the funeral, it will make people cry.

Naruto: So?

Sasuke: Oh you heartless person Naruto, I hate you; she was my one and only love. (Bursts into tears)

Naruto: Oops.

Kiba: Poor Sasuke, we'll make it better. You can come and say good bye now. (Undertone:) Naruto, I'm gonna kill you. You made Sassy Cakes cry.

Sasuke: Thanks….. (Sob)….. Kebab… (Sob)…I LOVE YOU.

(Throw's himself into Kebab's arms)

Kebab: Oh Sassy Cakes! I love you too.

(Starts kissing him in front of everyone)

Naruto & Kakashi: EEEEWWWWWW!

Sassy Cakes: (Breaks off) Why didn't I tell you I loved you? All those times we spent alone, oh I love you.

Naruto: I'm leaving.

Kakashi: Wait for me dude, I'm not watching this.

(Runs after him, disgusted)

XOX

3 hours later at Sakura's funeral

XOX

Kakashi: So, she was a good student… always wanted to learn…..

Naruto: Has anyone seen Sassy Cakes and Keba- I mean Sasuke and Kiba.

Kakashi: Naruto, you are an idiot, you interrupted my speech! Now I will have my revenge.

(Throws a piece of cake at Naruto and it hits him in the face)

Naruto: FOOD FIGHT!

Everyone's throwing food at everyone else when Sasuke and Kiba walk in holding hands

Sassy Cakes: What the…?

Kebab: What is going on?

Sassy Cakes: NARUTO!

(Mouth full and hands full of cake, Naruto turns)

Naruto: Oh s***….. Ummmmm, hi, Sasuke, hehe

Sasuke looks mutinous

Naruto: Mummy!

(Runs from the room screaming out for help)

Hinata: Maybe we should help him…

Kakashi: Nah, it's too funny. I'll leave it a few minutes and then I'll go and help him.

XOX

20 minutes later

XOX

Kakashi: Naruto! Where are you?

Naruto: Help me! Kakashi please help! No, what are you doing? NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kakashi: Naruto?

Naruto: HHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPP, !

Kakashi: Naruto! I'm coming!

(Starts running only to find Naruto tied to a chair with Sasuke and Kiba kissing in front of him)

Kakashi: OMFG THAT'S DISGUSTING!

(Runs to Naruto and unties him)

Kakashi: Come on; let's get out of here before it turns ugly!

XOX  
2 days later

XOX

Kakashi: Hey Naruto have you seen "Sassy Cakes"?

Naruto: Kakashi sensei, don't say that. I haven't seen them since….. since… arrrrrggghhh, my eyes!

(Naruto and Kakashi have gone around a corner and Sasuke and Kiba kissing in an ally.)

Kakashi: God you two, get a room!

(Sasuke and Kiba brake apart)

Kiba: Oooooopppsss

Sasuke: Oh Naruto, you're finally here. Now we can start a threesome.

(He said this with a smile)

Naruto: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!

(And he ran as fast as his noodle filled legs would take him)

Kakashi: Ewww. (And he fainted)

Kiba: Umm maybe we should get some one?

XOX

3 hours later

XOX

(Kakashi wakes up and finds himself alone)

Kakashi: Damn, where has Naruto got to?

(Walks around trying to find Naruto)

XOX  
The next day

XOX

Naruto: I feel good. Has anyone seen Sakura?

Shika: Naruto we went to her funeral 3 days ago. And has anyone seen Kakashi sensei?

Naruto: Well I saw Sakura yesterday and she was alive and Kakashi is off with his new girlfriend, I think.

Shika: She is not alive. You were there when she died and when the funeral was held the food fight, remember? And Kakashi has a girlfriend? Wicked!

Naruto: Yeah, and me and Hinata got on quite fine last night

Shika: Do I want to know?

Naruto: Well…

Shika: Never mind, Sakura is dead you killed her remember?

Naruto: Ummmmm, no.

Shika: Don't you remember the big Ferris wheel?

Naruto: No.

Shika: You know the big one the one that you push her off?

Naruto: No.

Shika: OMG you got scared and pushed her off the side when you got to the top and she fell to the ground to her doom!

(Starts crying)

Naruto: Hehe, I made you cry

Shika: Idiot.

XOX

2 weeks later

XOX

Sassy Cakes: "!"

(Everybody comes running)

Kebab: Oh Sassy Cakes what's wrong?

(Sasuke is sobbing)

Naruto: Excuse me, but why are we here?

Kakashi: Naruto you should have put something on before you left your house it's kind of revolting.

(Covers eye) lol

Shika: Waz goin on? AAAAARRRRRHHHHH my eyes!

Everybody: Naruto!

Naruto: hehe lol

Hinata: I think it's kinda cute

Everyone: eeeewwwwww

(Everyone else totally grossed out)

Sassy Cakes: Can we get back to me now I'm the one who screamed.

(In the back ground Kakashi's new girlfriend goes: hehe banana lol)

Kakashi: What up Sasuke?

Sassy Cakes: I have something to tell you all. Now don't freak out but I'm… I'm…. I'm….. I'm pregnant!

Silence

More Silence

More, More Silence

Naruto: Well that makes 2 of you, Believe it!

Kakashi: Naruto! You're…..

Naruto: No! God I'm not that weird, Hinata is

(Everyone looks at Hinata)

Hinata: Ummmm…..

Kakashi: Well this is very unexpected. We have something to tell you lot to

(Rika walks up)

Rika: Hey guys

Naruto: Who the hell are you?

Kakashi: Don't be rude Naruto that's my girlfriend

Naruto: Oh sorry lol

Kakashi: Go on

Rika: Well Kakashi and I have decided that we are going to get married

Silence

More Silence

More, More Silence

Shika: Can I open my eyes now?

Everyone: NO!

Sasuke: Way to steal my lime light dude's

Hinata: Well that's good news after everything that's happened we need something good to happen around here, after what happened to Sakura and all

Naruto: What happen to Sakura she is alive I tell you ALIVE, I saw her yesterday we went out for ramen

Everybody: Yeah sure you did Naruto

Rika: he he banana lol

Everyone:?

Naruto: Look its her I can see her!

(Everyone ignores him except Hinata who looks at him naked and falls into a dead faint)

Everyone leaves Naruto alone in the street.

Naruto: Idiots, I new there was a reason I brought my bag with me

(Goes and puts clothes on)

Naruto: She was there I saw her

(Talking to no one in particular)

? : Hey Naruto!

Naruto: Oh hi

? : What ya doing?

Naruto: Just putting my clothes on, you?

? : Just coming to see what all the fuss was about, I thought I heard someone scream?

Naruto: Oh that, well, Sasuke (sassy cakes) and Hinata are pregnant and Kakashi sensei and His girlfriend Rika are getting married.

? : Oh ok kool. Wait who is Rika?

Naruto: Ummm I dunno she is kinda cool but she says "hehe banana lol" a lot

? : Oh that's who that was

Naruto: Yep, Haven't seen you in a while?

? : I been on a mission

Naruto: I know that, did it go well? Where are the others?

? : Ummm they died

Naruto: Great another funeral

? : No there will be 3 they all died no one but me survived

Naruto: What happened?

? : We were ambushed and killed everyone one at a time, I ran so now I'm here and who else died?

Naruto: Apparently Sakura did, I supposedly pushed her off the Ferris wheel, but I'm not sure I did I saw her not 20 minuets ago

? : Yeah I saw her too she was wondering off that way

(Points behind them)

Naruto: I new I didn't imagine it

(Curses everyone who doesn't believe him)

Rika: Naruto who are you talking to?

Naruto: Oh hey Rika

? : So you're Rika I've heard so much about you. Well not much really just that you say Hehe banana's lol a lot

Rika: Naruto!

Naruto: Sozzy Rika

Rika: Got to go, place to be, people to see you know the usual. It was nice to meet you….

? : Neji its Neji and the people who died are Ino, Gai and Lee

Rika: Oh nice to meet you then Neji, Bye Naruto!

Naruto: Bye Rika

Neji: So where is everyone?

Naruto: Oh they left because I was naked lol

Neji: Gross dude

Naruto: Well I'm dressed now

Neji: And you were talking to your self

Naruto: Be a great mate and don't tell anyone about that k?

Neji: Oh but I was gonna tell Hinata, Sasuke, Kiba, Shika, and Kakashi…

Naruto: Oh no please you can't do that to me please no!

(Is begging on his hands and knees)

Neji: Just kidding Naruto I wouldn't tell a soul

Naruto: Good

(Starts walking away)

Neji: Hey wait up I want to come say hi to everyone

(Runs after him)

They walk for ages trying to find people but they can't find anyone

Naruto: HELLO! IS ANYONE THERE? HELLO!

Neji: Naruto shut up there is no one here

Naruto: "grumble"

They walk around a corner only to stop in their tracks because everyone is sitting at a massive table and they all yell at the same time "WELCOME BACK NEJI"

Neji starts to weep with pride

Rika: Welcome back Neji, have some food

(Gesturing at the table)

Naruto: FOOD!

(Runs as fast as his soon to be noodle filled legs will carry him over to the table)

Everyone laughs

Rika: So another funeral huh well as long as it doesn't go like the last funeral

(Laughs at the memory)

Naruto: Mgyshemyufflyenuether

Hinata: What was that?

Naruto: Mgyshemyufflyenuether

Hinata: What?

Naruto: (swallows food) MY STOMACHE IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!

Hinata: Oh, Ok

Naruto: ….

Shika: So Naruto, Hinata when is it due?

Hinata: (blushes) Ummmm

Naruto: A while

Shika: What about you two?

(Indicates at Sassy Cakes and Kebab)

Sassy Cakes: Sometime in the near future

Kebab: Yeah what he said

Shika: And Kakashi when are you getting married?

Kakashi: That's for me to know and you to never find out

Shika: Rika will you tell us?

Rika: No

Naruto: Why not?

Rika: Don't wanna

Naruto: 

Rika & Kakashi: NO!

Naruto: poop you guys are no fun

(Starts sulking)

Kebab: Why won't you tell us?

Rika: …..

Kakashi: Ummmm

Rika: Weelllll

Kakashi: You see we were planning on …..

Naruto: Yes, Yes?

Rika: We, we Ummm

Kakashi & Rika: Still not telling.

Everyone: Oh man that's not funny

Kakashi & Rika: Yes it was you should have seen your faces!

(Laughing so hard they almost piss themselves)

Naruto: You guys suck

(Grumbles quietly to himself)

Party finishes and everyone goes home

Kakashi: Do you think we should tell them?

Rika: No their young minds are not ready to deal with this yet it will hurt them too much and you know what they are like they will probably kill you. Anyway it might not happen; there is no reason to worry them.

Kakashi: Yeah you're right; you're always right. They are too young

XOX

2 days later

XOX

Naruto: I'm telling you I saw her 3 days ago she was standing right there!

Kakashi: Sure she was

Shika: YOU KILLED HER!

Naruto: Did not

Shika: Did so

Naruto: Did not

Shika: Did so

Naruto: Did not

Shika: Did so

Naruto: Did not

Shika: Did so

Naruto: I didn't kill her. Ask Neji he saw her to I'll prove it next time I see her ill take a photo then you'll see she is not dead.

Shika: You idiot, we had an open coffin she was lying there dead

Naruto: She could have been acting

Kakashi: Naruto give it a rest or we are gonna be late to the funerals

Naruto: (Grumbles quietly in the background)

Kakashi: Come on; let's go and say goodbye

XOX

20 minutes later at the funeral

XOX

Random: And so we say goodbye to these lovely people who have died doing their duty to this lovely village.

Naruto: (whispers) Kakashi sensei I think I have a problem

Kakashi: What?

Naruto: I think I can see ghosts

Kakashi: I …..I…..I… have to go; I'll be back in a second

Naruto: Where are you going?

Kakashi: I'll be back

(Walks out silently)

Naruto: Was it something I said?

Shika: No Naruto it was your face, now SHUT UP!

Everyone: SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Random: As I was saying…

XOX

Outside in the car park

XOX

Kakashi: Rika, Naruto is like you and I think Neji can see them because of the thing with his eyes.

Rika: Oh this is bad but cool at the same time; I wouldn't wish this on anyone else, I have to tell him everything.

Kakashi: But how will he react and keep the secret?

Rika: I don't know

Kakashi: Naruto can be a hyperactive knuckle head with noodle filled legs but he can be serious when he needs to be, I think.

Rika: Were doomed aren't we?

Kakashi: Yep

Rika: Thought so

Kakashi: This is not good

Rika: Nope

Kakashi: What do we do?

Rika: We could always ask them

Kakashi: Who?

Rika: Sakura, Gai, Lee, Ino all them I'm sure the would want a say in all this

Kakashi: You know that's creepy don't you

Rika: Yep, Hey Sakura what ya doing?

Kakashi: Where is she?

(Looks around as if he would suddenly be able to see her)

Rika: She's not here I only did that to see you reaction it was funny

(Laughing very hard)

Kakashi: (Grumbles) not funny

Rika: It was and you know it

Kakashi: Let's go back inside

Rika: I don't think I will, I don't want to see them any longer than I have to

Kakashi: Fine, go home; I'll be back after lunch

Rika: Ok, Bye

(Kisses him on the cheek)

XOX

2 days later

XOX

Naruto: !

Everyone comes running again

Kakashi: Dude what's up?

Naruto: …

(Neji covers Naruto's mouth)

Naruto: (muffled) 

Sassy Cakes: Is there a problem Naruto?

Naruto: G..G….GGG…..G….GGG…Ghost!

(falls over in a dead faint, only to jump back up because he laded on an Echidna)

Naruto: !

Everyone: Ouch

Kakashi: Oh dear

Rika: This is not going to end well

Kakashi: You can say that again

Rika: This is no….

Kakashi: Figure of speech honey I didn't mean it

Rika: I knew that, I'm going home, Cya

Everyone: Bye Rika

Hinata: So Naruto what's up?

Naruto: The sky and GHOSTS!

Kebab: I do believe you have mentioned that

Naruto: That's because they are following Rika!

Rika: Excuse me

Naruto: Can't any one see them?

Kakashi: Naruto, why don't you come with me?

Naruto: But what do they want?

Kakashi: Naruto

Naruto: Fine

Kakashi: Everyone else go back to your everyday stuff that you kids do

Everyone: Yes sensei

(And leaves)

Rika: Naruto follow me

Naruto: But…..

Kakashi: Naruto do as she says, she can help you

Naruto: I do not have a disease

Rika: If you have a disease then I have the same one

Naruto: I DO NOT HAVE A DISEA….. What?

Rika: I can see them to

Naruto:….

Rika: Naruto?

Naruto: Really?

Rika: Really

Naruto: But, But, But…

Rika: We can see ghosts and no one else can

They continue to talk for hours about ghosts and stuff and then they depart and go home.

Kakashi: That took a while

Rika: I'll say

Kakashi: So does he know everything and does he understand?

Rika: Well he knows all of it and he knows to keep it a secret and has agreed to say that he was sick and hallucinating, but I don't think he fully understand our purpose for being able to see them

Kakashi: Yeah, well he is a kid.

Rika: A knuckle-headed, noodle-filled… kid

The end...


End file.
